...Or Sam Bafisto, as Izzie says...
Okay, I’m sorry if there’s confusion about what day I’m talking about when you read this… I started typing yesterday morning, now it’s today’s night, and we won’t get this posted until tomorrow night or even the next day!
So first thing Wednesday we dropped off the Denali (SUV) and the Monaco (RV) for service and headed into San Francisco. We discovered when we returned yesterday that the Denali was not going to be finished until Monday (we're planning on leaving Saturday and our campsites are reserved for someone else) and the Monaco had yet to even be looked at. But the good folks at Victory Chevy in Petaluma (*ding*) called extra folks in and got the work done exactly at 5:00 Friday. We were so happy to get it back that we almost didn't notice that it cost $2,000. On the other hand, Hansel RV (don't say we didn't warn you if you ever need RV service in Petaluma!) not only didn't look at the RV in 48 hours, they wouldn't even return our calls from San Francisco wondering if any progress had been made. We had to drive back from the city to hunt them down and were then told that they had no intention of looking at it before Monday. We're supposed to be departing on Sunday. XXX XXXX XXXXXX-XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXX XXXX XX XXXXXXX XXX. Sorry, this post has been edited and redacted. And now, onward to lovely San Francisco!
San Francisco, as I may have just said, is lovely. Super lovely. It's also just a bit on the pricey side. We checked into our hotel Wednesday noon and I poked my head into the hotel gift shop for a second having seen nothing of the city... they were selling "half" coffee mugs (in a D shape) that said, "Everything was so expensive in San Francisco that I could only afford half of a souvenir mug. Um, yup. But we won't talk about that anymore.
We drove south from Petaluma and crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, which was an experience unto itself. Completely encased in a wall of fog, it was spooky and cool. We had fog-filled views of the city, and the (Oakland) Bay Bridge and the mountains and Alcatraz. A number of people were walking across the bridge, but it wasn't packed due to the fog. When we went over Friday, it was like the line ride at Disneyworld. There are lots of businesses built on renting bikes to suckers who want to ride over the bridge; problem is, there's so many people on a nice day that you have to walk your bike.
Our hotel was in the famous Fisherman's Wharf area near the waterfront, and as soon as we got checked in we went for a stroll around the area. Our stomachs led us immediately to The Blue Mermaid, a seafood café located in the cannery district right across the street from where they bring the fish in. They had this amazing crab and corn chowder, and the very best fish and chips I’ve had outside of London. After lunch, we discovered that San Francisco is chock full o’ national parks. Right there in Fisherman’s Wharf is Maritime National Historic Park, filled with all sorts of cool ships and vessels and other junk. Get it?!? Junk?!? Too funny. After we visited the ships, we headed over to Ghirardelli Square (note: it’s pronounced Geer-ardelli, not Jeer-ardelli, but don’t try telling that to anybody who’s grown up near the towns of Chye-lye, a-von, or Shar-LOTT) for some chocolate and hot fudge sundaes. Later in the day we walked up to Chinatown and had hoped to find some dinner, but soon came to realize that there was absolutely no way we could tell the essential cuisine from the really sketchy. The hig
hlight was a team of young (high school-age) Chinese drummers and dragon dancers performing on the street. The highlight for Gabe and Kieran was that after an entire summer of swordfighting with sticks, we picked them up “real” wooden Chinese swords. We’ve dialed "91" and are just waiting to dial the final "1".
We also visited the Palace of Fine Arts and the Exploratorium, an incredibly cool and enormous hands-on science museum. Mom and Liz will tell you, however, that everything was based on the WOW factor and didn’t actually encourage you to engage in long-term explorations that left you with meaningful questions you wanted to pursue further. Teachers. Pssshhht. Whatever. Yesterday we also visited the California Academy of Science, which is a great natural history museum, aquarium, planetarium, and indoor rain forest all in one. They have this really cool white alligator. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to know how many people can actually fit in the building, and so you had to stand literally seven people deep to look at the exhibits. They must have violated the fire code. It was like attending a rave in a science museum. And so even though it cost $25 per person to get in (I know I said I wasn’t going to complain about the cost, but 25 bucks?!??!?), we only stayed about an hour.
There are so many great things about San Francisco, its cultural experiences, and its people. There is one area in which you would expect SF to excel, and that is in the quality of its street performers. Sadly, tragically, this is not the case. This is the city that holds the mighty San Francisco Symphony, and has given us some of the defining musicians of several generations, yet the street performers are the most inept, embarrassing, talentless hacks you’ll find anywhere. And I’m being kind. First off, you are only allowed to play the trumpet (badly) or the saxophone (even worse). But the “musicians” aren’t even the worst part. Apparently, somewhere in northern California there is a school for the arts that teaches people to stand still for long periods of time. Now, in any big city with street performers you’ll find these “human statues”. I have to say that would I care for these folks even less than Lucifer’s minions, the evil and dreaded mimes, except that these people are standing still and therefore can’t interact with you. There are two key differences here: First, these people are the dominant group of street performers. They’re everywhere. Second, they don’t actually stand still! They’ll be standing there with their hat or cup or whatever at their feet, standing still, but then their eyes will peek around. And then they’ll turn their head. Or maybe have a nice, long scratch. And they want to be paid for it. But you’re never quite sure if they are performing, or just waiting for the light so they can cross the street. We were also treated to a “Michael Jackson impersonator”, except dude was the only person on the block who couldn’t actually do the moonwalk. And while Michael Jackson (and may you rest in peace and if you didn’t actually do all those things I think you did then I’m sorry and hope you’re in a better place [although I’ll bet Neverland Ranch was awesome with all the roller coasters and whatnot] and Thriller was like the highlight of my life in 6th grade) was a 50-year-old who had so much plastic surgery he no longer looked human, let alone like Michael Jackson, this guy just looked probably like what 50-year-0ld Michael Jackson would have really looked like. And I have to say, in retrospect, maybe all of species-altering facial surgeries weren’t such a bad idea. The only other street “performer” worth noting was Mr. Sparklypants (I’m pretty sure that’s not his Christian name or even what he calls himself, but I don’t know what else to refer to him as) who was pushing eight feet tall (although honestly, a lot of people look that tall from down here) and was completely covered, head to toe in prism-like silver sequins.
The one cool street musician we saw in two full days was a Chinese musician playing the Chinese fiddle (I’m sorry, Professor Malm, I just can’t think of what it’s called right now). He was, however, in true SF street style, playing not traditional Chinese music, but Happy Birthday and Auld Land Syne.
On our way back toward the hotel, as it was starting to get dark, we passed the most formidable person we saw in the whole city. We saw her coming from a block away… tall, statuesque, in a very short dress, with very high heels (yes, it was a woman). But then there was a thick chain (think padlock, not Tiffany) that went all the up her thigh and just disappeared. Somewhere. And with her, wearing a studded leather collar, was the biggest, most vicious looking dog you’ve ever seen. And he was off-leash. In the city. And when they got to the intersection across the street from us, she inaudibly whispered some near-silent command. It was so delicate, so hisslike, it may have been Parseltongue. And the dog immediately heeled. And so did the rest of us.
We were incredibly fortunate to get three solid days of sunshine in the place they call “Fog City”, but by yesterday (Friday) all of the touristy spots had filled beyond capacity. We had planned for a winery tour today, but then learned that there’s actually a wine country festival going on, and all of the wineries will be filled beyond capacity. And it turns out that we don’t actually like people. Well, except you, of course. We like you quite a lot. We’ll except you there in the blue chair. You’d be the first to go.
We’re on the road today, driving the lonely road through Nevada, and will be stopping in Great Basin National Park tonight. We’ll be deciding tonight whether to go to east to Moab or northeast to Rocky.
For what it’s worth, I highly recommend a trip to San Francisco, although you might want to get that second mortgage approved before you go.
We never did locate the nuclear wessels.
Okay, I’m sorry if there’s confusion about what day I’m talking about when you read this… I started typing yesterday morning, now it’s today’s night, and we won’t get this posted until tomorrow night or even the next day!
So first thing Wednesday we dropped off the Denali (SUV) and the Monaco (RV) for service and headed into San Francisco. We discovered when we returned yesterday that the Denali was not going to be finished until Monday (we're planning on leaving Saturday and our campsites are reserved for someone else) and the Monaco had yet to even be looked at. But the good folks at Victory Chevy in Petaluma (*ding*) called extra folks in and got the work done exactly at 5:00 Friday. We were so happy to get it back that we almost didn't notice that it cost $2,000. On the other hand, Hansel RV (don't say we didn't warn you if you ever need RV service in Petaluma!) not only didn't look at the RV in 48 hours, they wouldn't even return our calls from San Francisco wondering if any progress had been made. We had to drive back from the city to hunt them down and were then told that they had no intention of looking at it before Monday. We're supposed to be departing on Sunday. XXX XXXX XXXXXX-XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXX XXXX XX XXXXXXX XXX. Sorry, this post has been edited and redacted. And now, onward to lovely San Francisco!
San Francisco, as I may have just said, is lovely. Super lovely. It's also just a bit on the pricey side. We checked into our hotel Wednesday noon and I poked my head into the hotel gift shop for a second having seen nothing of the city... they were selling "half" coffee mugs (in a D shape) that said, "Everything was so expensive in San Francisco that I could only afford half of a souvenir mug. Um, yup. But we won't talk about that anymore.We drove south from Petaluma and crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, which was an experience unto itself. Completely encased in a wall of fog, it was spooky and cool. We had fog-filled views of the city, and the (Oakland) Bay Bridge and the mountains and Alcatraz. A number of people were walking across the bridge, but it wasn't packed due to the fog. When we went over Friday, it was like the line ride at Disneyworld. There are lots of businesses built on renting bikes to suckers who want to ride over the bridge; problem is, there's so many people on a nice day that you have to walk your bike.
Our hotel was in the famous Fisherman's Wharf area near the waterfront, and as soon as we got checked in we went for a stroll around the area. Our stomachs led us immediately to The Blue Mermaid, a seafood café located in the cannery district right across the street from where they bring the fish in. They had this amazing crab and corn chowder, and the very best fish and chips I’ve had outside of London. After lunch, we discovered that San Francisco is chock full o’ national parks. Right there in Fisherman’s Wharf is Maritime National Historic Park, filled with all sorts of cool ships and vessels and other junk. Get it?!? Junk?!? Too funny. After we visited the ships, we headed over to Ghirardelli Square (note: it’s pronounced Geer-ardelli, not Jeer-ardelli, but don’t try telling that to anybody who’s grown up near the towns of Chye-lye, a-von, or Shar-LOTT) for some chocolate and hot fudge sundaes. Later in the day we walked up to Chinatown and had hoped to find some dinner, but soon came to realize that there was absolutely no way we could tell the essential cuisine from the really sketchy. The hig
hlight was a team of young (high school-age) Chinese drummers and dragon dancers performing on the street. The highlight for Gabe and Kieran was that after an entire summer of swordfighting with sticks, we picked them up “real” wooden Chinese swords. We’ve dialed "91" and are just waiting to dial the final "1".We also visited the Palace of Fine Arts and the Exploratorium, an incredibly cool and enormous hands-on science museum. Mom and Liz will tell you, however, that everything was based on the WOW factor and didn’t actually encourage you to engage in long-term explorations that left you with meaningful questions you wanted to pursue further. Teachers. Pssshhht. Whatever. Yesterday we also visited the California Academy of Science, which is a great natural history museum, aquarium, planetarium, and indoor rain forest all in one. They have this really cool white alligator. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to know how many people can actually fit in the building, and so you had to stand literally seven people deep to look at the exhibits. They must have violated the fire code. It was like attending a rave in a science museum. And so even though it cost $25 per person to get in (I know I said I wasn’t going to complain about the cost, but 25 bucks?!??!?), we only stayed about an hour.
There are so many great things about San Francisco, its cultural experiences, and its people. There is one area in which you would expect SF to excel, and that is in the quality of its street performers. Sadly, tragically, this is not the case. This is the city that holds the mighty San Francisco Symphony, and has given us some of the defining musicians of several generations, yet the street performers are the most inept, embarrassing, talentless hacks you’ll find anywhere. And I’m being kind. First off, you are only allowed to play the trumpet (badly) or the saxophone (even worse). But the “musicians” aren’t even the worst part. Apparently, somewhere in northern California there is a school for the arts that teaches people to stand still for long periods of time. Now, in any big city with street performers you’ll find these “human statues”. I have to say that would I care for these folks even less than Lucifer’s minions, the evil and dreaded mimes, except that these people are standing still and therefore can’t interact with you. There are two key differences here: First, these people are the dominant group of street performers. They’re everywhere. Second, they don’t actually stand still! They’ll be standing there with their hat or cup or whatever at their feet, standing still, but then their eyes will peek around. And then they’ll turn their head. Or maybe have a nice, long scratch. And they want to be paid for it. But you’re never quite sure if they are performing, or just waiting for the light so they can cross the street. We were also treated to a “Michael Jackson impersonator”, except dude was the only person on the block who couldn’t actually do the moonwalk. And while Michael Jackson (and may you rest in peace and if you didn’t actually do all those things I think you did then I’m sorry and hope you’re in a better place [although I’ll bet Neverland Ranch was awesome with all the roller coasters and whatnot] and Thriller was like the highlight of my life in 6th grade) was a 50-year-old who had so much plastic surgery he no longer looked human, let alone like Michael Jackson, this guy just looked probably like what 50-year-0ld Michael Jackson would have really looked like. And I have to say, in retrospect, maybe all of species-altering facial surgeries weren’t such a bad idea. The only other street “performer” worth noting was Mr. Sparklypants (I’m pretty sure that’s not his Christian name or even what he calls himself, but I don’t know what else to refer to him as) who was pushing eight feet tall (although honestly, a lot of people look that tall from down here) and was completely covered, head to toe in prism-like silver sequins.
The one cool street musician we saw in two full days was a Chinese musician playing the Chinese fiddle (I’m sorry, Professor Malm, I just can’t think of what it’s called right now). He was, however, in true SF street style, playing not traditional Chinese music, but Happy Birthday and Auld Land Syne.
On our way back toward the hotel, as it was starting to get dark, we passed the most formidable person we saw in the whole city. We saw her coming from a block away… tall, statuesque, in a very short dress, with very high heels (yes, it was a woman). But then there was a thick chain (think padlock, not Tiffany) that went all the up her thigh and just disappeared. Somewhere. And with her, wearing a studded leather collar, was the biggest, most vicious looking dog you’ve ever seen. And he was off-leash. In the city. And when they got to the intersection across the street from us, she inaudibly whispered some near-silent command. It was so delicate, so hisslike, it may have been Parseltongue. And the dog immediately heeled. And so did the rest of us.
We were incredibly fortunate to get three solid days of sunshine in the place they call “Fog City”, but by yesterday (Friday) all of the touristy spots had filled beyond capacity. We had planned for a winery tour today, but then learned that there’s actually a wine country festival going on, and all of the wineries will be filled beyond capacity. And it turns out that we don’t actually like people. Well, except you, of course. We like you quite a lot. We’ll except you there in the blue chair. You’d be the first to go.
We’re on the road today, driving the lonely road through Nevada, and will be stopping in Great Basin National Park tonight. We’ll be deciding tonight whether to go to east to Moab or northeast to Rocky.
For what it’s worth, I highly recommend a trip to San Francisco, although you might want to get that second mortgage approved before you go.
We never did locate the nuclear wessels.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment